


Trying to Deal

by deenowr



Category: Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Batfamily Feels, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:50:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2792189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deenowr/pseuds/deenowr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason got himself gassed up with fear gas. The reaction they received from him was unexpected - and disturbing. They start to realise that Jason has a lot more issues to deal with on his own than they thought he had. They keep him in the manor (by force) and send him for therapy sessions (also by force). Sooner or later, whether he likes it or not; Jason will learn to deal - or his family will make him deal (again, by force).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys, first work posted here. Hope you give it a try. This will be mostly about Jason Todd. I've never been much into Marvel and DC Comics, but this is a gift for my pal so I did some research here and there - sorry if there're any mistakes on characterization. It's written for my buddy, who pestered me to no end to write something about Todd. I thought of twisting the fear gas scene a bit by making Red Hood succumb to one of his greatest fears ; turning into the Joker. I love Selina Kyle; she's hot, her personality's hot, she's perfectly capable of practically anything - but Todd just has a lot of issues going on. Well, I hope you enjoy it.

Everything was in mayhem. 

There was no other way to put it. Then again; there were rarely any positive words used to describe Gotham City. But this…

“This takes the cake,” Nightwing sighed through the com unit. Tim could just picture Dick on a high-rise building, looking down at the current chaos. Tim nodded in agreement but decided against saying anything. If he did, he doubted it would do much good in raising spirits anyway. Beside him on the rooftop, Black Bat had her gaze trained on the masses below; bodies running, screaming, maiming – driven out of their minds. 

“Alright, the faster we move; the sooner it’s over. Red Robin and Black Bat, the both of you are on crowd control. Immobilize them, knock them out if you have to; but round them up. Batgirl, you deal with O on getting the antidote for the fear gas. Robin and I will locate Scarecrow. Catwoman and Red Hood are patrolling the surrounding parameters. Let’s go,” Nightwing said. Tim offed the com unit and glanced at Black Bat, who nodded.

“Of all the days Scarecrow had to pick, it had to be when Bruce is out,” Tim grumbled. They both swooped down to the pavement; Black Bat skillfully knocking out a man who was trying to bash his own brains out with a baseball bat. Tim turned to deal with two teenagers who were trying to strangle each other. Both Red Robin and Black Bat managed to work efficiently and in sync with each other and they managed to reduce the amount of chaos and calm the civilians down. 

He didn’t know how long it was, but it was a definite relief when the com unit crackled and Nightwing’s voice came in the line, assuring them that the culprits were caught. Even if they were just dealing with civilians; a bunch of raving mad civilians was definitely a work out. “Scarecrow is secured. Batgirl’s on the way with the antidote – just give her a few minutes; she had a run-in with the cops. You and Black Bat okay?” Dick asked. “Yes. We just need the antidote,” Red Robin replied. “Thanks, Red Robin, Black Bat,” Dick replied. Tim turned off the com and turned to Cassandra. “We’ll just have to wait,” he said. 

“Not long. Batgirl is good,” she said. He nodded, and was about to say more when suddenly his com unit beeped. It was a red light; meaning it was a personal call. He turned it on, heart beating fast. Usually, secrets weren’t kept on the field when they worked as a team – there could be too many miscommunications. Nightwing never liked operating in a mission without the knowledge of the team; so Tim knew it had to be serious. 

“Red Robin online,” he answered, receiving the call. The line crackled. “…hear… Red Robin… kid, you hear me?” A female’s voice was heard down the line. Tim’s eyes narrowed. “I hear you. What is it, Catwoman? How did you get the com unit?” he asked. Tim himself never had any qualms with Selina, but it would become an issue if she stole one of their com units. “Listen, kid, we’ve got trouble. Red Hood had a run-in with one of Scarecrow’s goons, and that coward was armed with fear gas. Hood got a full blast of it. I have him tied up; but he’s… he’s not stable. We need the antidote,” Selina said, panting. 

“Catwoman, the antidote hasn’t arrived yet. You have to keep an eye on Red Hood until then. What’s his condition?” Tim asked. “I’m trying my best, here, kiddo. Can’t you send backup or something? ‘Cause I don’t think my presence is helping much – Whoa, there, tiger!” Just like that, the line was cut off with a high pitched, almost inhumane laugh. “Selina? Selina, answer me! Are you there?” Tim demanded. There was an eerie silence down the line, and Tim felt shivers down his spine. He looked around. Batgirl still wasn’t there. Black Bat, however; stood in front of him looking tense. She wasn’t a part of the conversation that proceeded a few seconds ago, but it wasn’t hard for her to piece it together. 

“Go. Will wait for Batgirl. Will come with antidote. Go now,” she said. “I’ll see you later,” he said, and proceeded to make his way to the location Catwoman contacted him via the communicating device. Tim knew that on the job; almost all of the bats have had their fair share of fear gas and whatever concoction that Scarecrow threw their way. The fear gas was one of the worst because it made your own turn against you; their minds broken and driven by pain and terror. 

He didn’t know what happened to Selina, but hopefully, she managed to defend herself and escape. Tim knew that he had to tell Nightwing. Jason Todd wasn’t particularly a sane guy; let alone when he was all gassed up. “Nightwing? Red Robin here. Red Hood got a whiff of the fear gas,” 

-

Everything had turned an ugly, gaudy mixture of neon green and purple. It was like the world had turned upside down. Jason couldn’t walk properly; the ground wouldn’t stay still. He could smell a stench in the air. Blood. There were some bodies lying around. He couldn’t tell if they were corpses. He couldn’t care, anyway. There were more important things on his mind.

“Did you miss me, you bastard?” he crooned softly. The clown – the fucking clown – stood there, staring at him. Jason could see the whites of Joker’s eyes; the grisly mouth stretched into an unnatural wide grin. The Joker didn’t say anything. “I didn’t miss you – ‘course I didn’t. But I wanted to kill you. Wanted to kill you so bad that it hurts. Like a knife in my chest. But you didn’t use a knife, did you? You used a crowbar. A fucking crowbar and a bomb, can you believe that?!” Jason started laughing. Cackling; his grin mirroring the clown’s. 

He took a step closer, and Joker – he took a step back. “H-Heh? You want to dance, is that it? You want a waltz? Thought you only danced with Daddybats. I was your wingman, eh? Killed me to get the Big Bad Bat to dance with you? Did he? I don’t think he did,” Jason said. The Joker was talking to something in his hand, but his eyes were still trained on Jason. He was still smiling. “Poor little Joker. You were just out to have some fun. I got it. Don’t worry, I got the joke. I got the joke only after I came back from the pit; but I got it,” he rambled, his body trembling, a hand clutching his hair. 

“You said it was funny, didn’t ya? Thought it was the best joke of the century. But you know what they say; it’s only real funny if you’re in on it. You shared your joke with me, maybe I should share mine with you,” Jason muttered, half to himself. “It would be funnier with a crowbar, but oh well; the show must go on,” he said dramatically. Without warning, he lunged at the clown.

Catwoman didn’t have time to evade the attack, and they were both sent sprawling on the ground. Jason’s mad laughter filled her ears and her vision blackened out momentarily when he grabbed her neck and squeezed. She choked, the com unit falling to the ground and tried to escape the strangle hold. “H-Hood! Snap… gh, out of… it,” she rasped. She couldn’t see his eyes beneath the white lens of his mask, but she knew that he was way out of it. She fisted a hand in his hair and yanked hard, to no avail. His grin grew wider.  
“Now, now, Mister J – you paid for the full-body experience, and I only give my customers the very best. This might hurt a little but,” Jason sniggered, his eyes filled with tears of mirth and Selina felt the cold claws of fear gripping her heart, “it’ll be worth it. You’ll get the punchline. Just like I did,” he promised. She was running out of oxygen fast, and her vision was starting to fade. Jason wagged a finger in front of her. “Nuh uh, you’re gonna miss all the fun. Wouldn’t want that, do we?” he scolded her almost gently. With only one hand wrapped around her neck, applying pressure; the ex-robin pried her hand from his arm. Her claws had left deep scars on his limbs; but he didn’t seem to notice. 

“Thanks for bringing stuff for the party. Now we can get to the main event, huh?” Jason cackled again. Selina, confused and struggling for air; craned to see what he meant. To her horror, he was holding on to the whip that she had used to tie him up earlier. He didn’t discard it like she thought he did while she was talking to Tim. Instead, he managed to escape the confines and kept it with him. Jason dropped her and she landed on the ground roughly. “J-Jas...on, st – st… op,” she gasped. Selina desperately tried to crawl away to safety, but Jason set his boot down, hard, on her foot. She screamed internally in pain, too weak to let out a sound. 

Selina, run run run, you’re not gonna die here; get away get away get away – her mind was in a flurry of pain and she couldn’t think straight. She felt something thick wound around her neck. The whip. Not again not again not again – can’t breathe… she choked, clutching at it. Her tormentor brought his face close to hers, his face twisted into a wide grimace. “I like to start with the appetizers first – so... fingers?” he asked ominously.

-

Before he even reached the exact location, Tim knew that something was wrong. 

The whole place was silent. There were only a few unconscious bodies lying around; civilians that Jason and Selina must have taken care of. But this time, there was an eerie silence that filled the area. Normally, when Catwoman fought; the words that spilled from her mouth were as sharp as her claws. Banter and flirts were the norm when she was fighting; the witty commentary able to disarm her opponent – even a second was enough for Selina to sink her claws in. Tim found the silence unnerving. 

But… he could hear something. It was faint, but it was there. It sounded like a hysterical laugh. Only one person in the whole of Gotham laughed like that – The Joker. But… But he was still in Arkham. He doesn’t work with the Sarecrow. How did he get out? However the Joker did it, Tim knew for a fact that he could never be up to any good. He burst into a run, trying to locate the sound. 

“Catwoman! Catwoman, where are you?!” Tim’s normal calm demeanor started to slip. His palms started to sweat and blood was rushing in his head. Something was terribly wrong. It was a few more seconds before he reached the site, and – and he couldn’t… he couldn’t comprehend… NO! Tim’s mind screamed.  
It was like a punch in the gut. Like a terrible joke that went wrong. 

Catwoman lay on the ground, unconscious. Her limp right arm was held by Jason. He stood over her, his face twisted into an unnaturally wide smile. Even from where he was standing, Tim could smell the blood that reeked from the area; could see that the fingers on her right hand were twisted and broken; could see the whip that was choking her delicate neck; and if it was left any longer… 

“Get away from her, Red Hood!” Tim yelled. Red Hood’s grip on the whip around Catwoman’s neck loosened, and he dropped her arm; which flopped uselessly to her side. His attention was pinned to Tim, and the younger man felt cold ice in his heart when he saw the manic grin on the other vigilante’s face widened. “The party keeps getting better and better! The main course hasn’t arrived – that’s Daddybats, I’ll invite him later – but desserts are just as good,” Jason’s voice dropped an octave lower. Tim tried to remain calm. He had the older man’s attention now. All he had to do was lure Jason away from Catwoman; and when he gets the chance, he’ll tranquilize the older man. 

“I’m glad to hear that. But – but Batman won’t be happy if you skip the main meal and go straight to dessert. He’ll get mad,” Tim heard himself say, trying to go along with Jason. He knew that one of the ex-robin’s life goals was to rile Bruce up. Sure enough, Jason fell for it. He nodded almost amiably at Tim. “You’re one smart cookie; you guessed the surprise. I’ll have to kill you to get the Big Bad Bat to come. That’s the invitation. It’s almost a pity to kill you again. But – but you have to die, you understand, right?” Jason asked. His voice cracked at the end. Tim guessed that in Jason’s present state; he wasn’t seeing Catwoman as herself. She had to be someone else. He sees the Joker. Jason sees the Joker, Tim thought. 

Tim guessed at first that Red Hood saw him as himself. He wasn’t an idiot and he knew that Jason held a grudge against him. It would make sense for Todd to see him in this delirious state, and attack him – even attempt to kill him. But… Kill me ‘again’? What did he mean by that? Tim wondered, his eyes still trained on Jason. “Things will be different this time, baby. This time, you’re gonna stay dead,” Jason laughed, his voice a pitch higher; advancing towards Tim menacingly. ‘Stay dead’? Wait… he didn’t mean… Tim’s eyes widened at the thought as Jason ran at him, sniggering; intent on butchering whoever it was he was seeing in his fear-induced mind.  
Jason meant himself. 

He sees me as himself, Tim thought hollowly.


	2. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry for the delay in posting. I've been busy. Well, Catwoman and Jason's in the cave now. Slight tension between Damian and Tim, but Dick will see to that. Tim's gotten closer to Jason before this, but now he finds himself doubting Red Hood. Enjoy!

“I’m gonna get you, little birdie – finish up the job properly this time. No more sloppy leftovers!” Jason yelled, half-crazed. He wasn’t armed; and the whip he was strangling Catwoman with lay forgotten on the ground, but Tim knew he was still just as dangerous as if he was armed. Tim dodged a wicked right hook that might have sent him sprawling. He was smaller and lighter than Red Hood. Under normal circumstances, Tim could easily use his size to gain the upper hand when he was against a heavier opponent. But Jason Todd was a force to be reckoned with. Jason had been trained by Batman too; had been a part of the family. His agility wasn’t as good as Tim’s, but… almost.

Tim ducked and narrowly avoided another blow, trying to find an opening in the older man’s stance. Red Hood was still in his jacket and body armour, and Tim would bet anything that he had protection underneath the pants too. Which means… _I have to aim for his neck,_ Tim thought quickly. He blocked the next hit that was delivered and dropped into a crouch; whipping out a leg to get Jason down. It worked, and Jason went down with a breathless chuckle; like he found the whole thing funny. “Little birdie’s quick and fast! You took some lessons from Dickiebird, did ya?” Jason asked. “It’s okay, I took some too,” Quick as a flash, Jason tangled his legs with Red Robin and brought the slighter man down. He pinned Red Robin’s legs down with his weight, and Tim struggled; though he knew it was futile.

“Relax, kid. This hurts me more than it hurts you,” Jason’s voice sounded teary suddenly, as he reached over to lay his full weight over Tim; trapping the younger man below him. Tim forced himself to become limp; counting the seconds as Jason started to wrap his fingers around Tim’s throat. _One, two, three… NOW!_ Tim pressed the needle to Jason’s neck once he was near enough, pushing the contents into his bloodstream. Jason was surprised; leaving a weak spot and Tim immediately pushed him off and backed away rapidly. He was mindful in keeping a certain distance between him and Todd. The tranquiliser was strong, and Jason would go down in a few more seconds. Nightwing might not be too happy that Tim used one of the strongest tranquilisers he had, but after seeing Catwoman’s condition, he couldn’t take any chances.

“You played dirty! Th – that’s not fair, you played dirty! You’re sp-spoiling the joke,” Jason pouted, and his face was twisted in frustration. His words were uncoordinated too so it proved that the tranquiliser was functioning. Red Hood was still sprawled on the ground, his body starting to shake with the effort to fight the dizziness it experienced. “Hood, you’re not in your right mind. I’m helping you,” Tim said, choosing his words carefully. A faint sneer splayed across Jason’s lips, and he seemed more like himself at that moment. “Y-yeah? Believe what you want. You shoulda just… just lemme kill you. Doin’ you a favour, kid. But I guess – I guess people don’t like my jokes much…” Jason trailed off, slurring his words. His head fell down to the concrete floor with a sickening thud.

Tim stared at the motionless figure a moment longer, before he turned on his com unit. “Nightwing? …Red Robin here. I found both Red Hood and Catwoman, both in need of medical attention… Catwoman’s in really bad condition, Nightwing, Hood – yes. I knocked him out… Understood,” Tim turned off the gadget and hurried to Catwoman’s side. Mechanically, he started checking for her pulse and breathing and examined her arm. Thankfully, she was still breathing but weakly.

Her pulse was faint and slow, but still there. He couldn’t tell if she had other bruises underneath her suit, and he would have to leave that to the professionals. Her neck was the worst. It couldn’t have been too long ago since Jason nearly choked her to death; but there were already blue-black marks forming over the skin. The fingers on her right hand were all broken, and Tim hoped against hope that she had passed out after the first finger. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there earlier, Selina,” Tim apologised under his breath, guilt tugging at his heartstrings. Her head lolled to the side, her eyes closed and oblivious to her surroundings. Tim averted his gaze and looked at the body a few meters away. He should pull Jason to safety; prop him up next to Selina in the alleyway – but Tim couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was sickened with what Jason had done to Catwoman. He almost killed her.

 _But,_ a voice in Tim’s head spoke, _he wasn’t in control of his own mind. It was the fear gas. It made him go crazy. It wasn’t him, so it’s not his fault,_ it said. Tim tried hard to believe it, but it was difficult. Jason had a screw loose; everyone knew that. Not only did the other bats know about it, but Tim wasn’t deaf. He heard the criminals, the scum of the underground talk. They knew there was something a bit off with Red Hood – he had these moods, where he went on a killing spree. The way he talked, the way he walked… there was something wrong. _And besides,_ Tim thought, feeling his throat tighten, _how far do we know it was the fear gas talking? It could have been him anytime. We wouldn’t know._

The com unit beeped suddenly, distracting him from his thoughts. _“Nightwing here, RR. I’m in the area with the Batmobile. Expect us in a minute,”_ Nightwing’s voice filtered through. “Understood,” Tim replied, before offing the device. Sure enough, less than a minute later Tim could make out the dark silhouette of the vehicle moving slowly towards the area. It stopped a distance from Red Hood’s still figure. Nightwing jumped out, followed by a clearly displeased Robin. But then again, when was Damian ever pleased? Tim leaned against the cool wall of the alleyway, only realizing how tired he was as Nightwing surveyed the site through narrowed lenses and made his way to the younger vigilante. Dick paused slightly when he saw Catwoman slumped against the wall, but continued forward at a grim pace. He nodded at Tim, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“We’re taking both her and Hood to the cave. I informed Alfred earlier, so he’ll be expecting them… but I didn’t say how heavy the damage was. Jay did all this?” The last sentence was added quietly, softly. Tim nodded, his face betrayed nothing. Dick pursed his lips before calling to Damian. “Robin! We’re taking them in the Batmobile,” he said. Damian, who was busy glaring at the lump of Red Hood; hurried towards them with an annoyed expression. He didn’t even acknowledge Tim’s presence, which showed exactly what he thought of the situation. _You could’ve done a better job._ Tim ignored him in return, and Nightwing rolled his eyes. The trio managed to bundle both bodies into the vehicle carefully.

“So? What happened?” Nightwing asked, as he pushed the mobile into gear. Tim was glad that Nightwing told him to sit shotgun at the front and left Damian at the back. That way, he didn’t have to see Damian’s death glares aimed at him –but he could still feel them. Tim felt reluctant to answer, but he complied, deciding to make it as short as possible. Then later, when he got Dick alone, he could tell him more. “Jason was exposed to fear gas. He attacked Catwoman. When I arrived, she was already unconscious. I engaged him in a fight and tranquilised him,” Tim reported in a monotone. There was no reply from Dik, but Tim knew that his elder brother had guessed that he was leaving some information out.

“You did a good job,” Nightwing said. Red Robin didn’t reply. Damian, at the back, snorted. Stung, Tim turned around to glare at the ten-year-old. “Think you can do better, _Robin_?” he asked, his teeth gritted. “Tt. I have said nothing of the sort,” Damian replied evenly. He looked pointedly at Dick as he said so, as if to prove something. The rest of the ride was spent in silence; both younger vigilantes glaring hard at each other through the rearview mirror. When they arrived at the cave, they found Alfred waiting patiently by the examining tables. He raised an eyebrow when Damian walked past him towards the showers without a word.

“A slight misunderstanding, I presume?” Alfred said as greeting. “Just Damian being Damian again,” Dick replied with a tight-lipped smile. He led Alfred to the Batmobile and the butler looked at both the bodies piled at the back before nodding briskly. “Lay both Miss Kyle and Master Jason down. I will start with Miss Kyle first, as she seems in a more dire condition,” Alfred said. His face was a bit paler than usual but he went straight down to business. When Catwoman and Red Hood were laid down as Alfred requested, Alfred turned to them. “I have prepared some sandwiches and hot cocoa for you, Master Dick and Master Tim. They are set on the table in the kitchen,” Alfred announced. Dick and Tim shared a look. “But, Alfred, we have to be here while you examine them! We need to know the details and…” Nightwing trailed off when Alfred shot him a look.

“Master Dick, you along with Master Tim and Master Damian have had a very long night. I assure you I am quite capable of handling the situation on my own and you will not be much help if you are dead on your feet. You can come down after you have finished your meal,” Alfred sniffed. Seeing the sense in it, Dick nodded. “…You’re right. Thanks, Alfie,” he said. With an internal sigh of relief, Tim followed Dick to the kitchen; his stomach growling. Damian must have gotten to the sandwiches before them, because his own mug and plate was already in the dishwasher. Tim couldn’t help but be glad for that because he wasn’t in the mood to deal with Damian at the moment.

“…So are you gonna tell me what you’re keeping to yourself or not?” Dick asked lightly, as they munched the ham sandwiches Alfred made. Tim continued munching his sandwich. “I told you everything,” he replied, keeping his face blank. “Well, by the way you’re acting; it’s like you’ve never seen fear gas victims before,” Dick said. His gaze wasn’t sharp like Bruce’s, but he seemed more concerned. And even though Tim was still a bit pissed at Dick for taking Robin from him, he felt the tension in the air reduce considerably. “…I just wish I was there earlier. To help Selina,” Tim confessed quietly.

“It wasn’t your fault, Tim, and you know that. You did what you had to do. We caught Scarecrow,” Dick said, trying to soothe the younger vigilante. “Yeah,” Tim said. Dick was studying him now, and Tim felt uncomfortable. Sometimes he kept forgetting that Dick could be just as sharp as Bruce; if not sharper. Maybe it was the way Dick carried himself that disarmed people. “It’s not just about Selina. It’s also about Jay,” Dick said. Tim swallowed inaudibly and nodded in confirmation. For a moment, there was a silence in the kitchen where Tim debated whether he should pursue the topic or leave it as it is. But Dick had to know. If Tim didn’t say anything, Bruce was going to demand answers later anyway. At the very least, Tim would have Dick to help him.

“I… You should’ve seen him, Dick. He was so – so out of it. He wasn’t himself at all. I know how fear gas works; I was doused with it a few times before… but his reaction. I didn’t expect it at all,” Tim said. Dick motioned for him to continue. “He – he went crazy. Totally nuts, Dick; and I’m not talking about Lazarus Pit-crazy, but… but Joker-crazy. He was smiling and laughing like it was some kind of big joke. I think – I think he saw Catwoman as the Joker, so he attacked her. But then when I came… he saw me as somebody else,” Tim tried to keep his voice steady. “Who did he see you as?” Dick asked softly.

“I think – no, I’m sure he saw me as himself. I was his younger version. The day he died,” Tim said. Dick winced at his statement. “He tried to kill me, Dick. He said that – that I had to die, that he’d make sure I stayed dead this time. _He was going to kill himself, Dick,_ ” Tim said, finally feeling the pity and horror for Jason well up inside himself. “And I – I feel bad because I kept telling myself that this wasn’t him. Jason was under the influence of fear gas and he wasn’t in control of what he does. But… but how do we know that for sure? He was doused in fear gas; he should have been terrified, Dick. He should have been running, screaming, crying… I don’t know. But not – not what he did. I haven’t seen anyone do what he did,” Tim said. He was trembling by now. Dick pulled him into a hug, stroking his head; and he leaned into the older man’s embrace.

“It’s okay, Tim, it’s okay,” Dick soothed him, “Jason had to go through a lot. He was being manipulated by the fear gas; anyone would lose their mind in that kind of situation. Scarecrow let go of some pretty lethal gas today. It’s a good thing you told me, we’ll be able to help him. Relax, we’ll make him better. Trust me,” Dick said. Tim nodded, trying to calm himself down and believe Dick.

But he couldn’t help but feel that deep down, they couldn’t make Jason get better. He was too far gone.


	3. Confirmation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason has no memory of what happened last night - which irritates Tim, sort of. Dick and Bruce are arguing like they tend to sometimes, and Alfred just wants Jason to stay. He doesn't approve of the way Bruce is planning to handle the situation - so there might be a bit of a blowup next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry for the late posting. I finished this up a while back but I had relatives over and it was difficult to get on the site. Here it is then, hope you enjoy it.

When both Dick and Tim went down to the cave, Alfred was already finished. Catwoman was bandaged up neatly and clad in a hospital gown. Jason, on the other hand, was still passed out but Alfred must have found some of Bruce’s old clothes for him. “Master Dick, Master Tim, I hope you feel more refreshed now?” Alfred asked. He was looking at a blood sample when they entered.

“Yeah, thanks, Alfie,” Dick smiled sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his head and peered worriedly at Selina while Tim took a seat. “How is she?” Dick asked. “All five fingers on Miss Kyle’s right hand are broken and there are quite a number of bruises, especially around her neck. It is my belief that… her _assaulter_ was intent on limiting her oxygen intake only but did not strangle her to death,” Alfred said grimly.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but that’s good to hear,” Dick said, “When will she be awake?” he asked. “In three to four hours’ time, Master Dick. She will rest in one of the guestrooms. Now, about Master Jason,” Alfred began, and both boys turned to him in trepidation. “I have done a thorough examination, and I am happy to say that he has no injuries. The fear gas he was doused with was the normal fear gas used by Scarecrow. I have used the antidote on him. He will sleep for another six to seven hours. The sedative you used was very strong, Master Tim,” Alfred said.

Tim shrugged his shoulders, at a loss of what to say. “…Yeah. I guess,” he said lamely. There was a moment of silence in the cave where the old butler studied both younger men. Dick looked away, putting his focus on Selina while Tim shifted slightly in his seat. After a while, Alfred straightened up. “Master Jason has been forced to face many challenges. When he awakes, he will need all the support and comfort he can get. I assure you that he will regret his actions, though they were not his to control. I expect that the two of you will understand that,” The last sentence was not a question.

Alfred’s face was impassive as he began to clear up; but Tim could tell that the older man had pieced everything together. The old butler was always trying to extend invitations to Red Hood but were rejected and denied. The few times that Jason did visit the manor, it never really ended well. From what Tim could tell, Jason was very close to Alfred when he was younger and his death brought the distraught of the old butler. Now, Stephanie was here from time to time just to see Alfred and the two seemed to have hit if off – but Tim knew that Alfred would always hope that Jason would return one day.

Dick could carry Selina by himself, but Jason’s weight needed all three of them to support him. Once they were deposited in their respective rooms, they bade Alfred a goodnight. When the butler was gone, Dick and Tim made their way to their own respective bedrooms. Damian was already asleep – either that, or he was feigning so he could kill Tim later when Tim was defenseless in his bed. Tim liked to think he really was asleep.

“Bruce will be back tomorrow. I didn’t tell him what happened tonight – just told him that we caught Scarecrow and ended the mess. I didn’t tell him about Jason. I also, uh… told Cass to spend the night with Steph. She… she hasn’t met Jay properly yet and I don’t want her to meet him like this,” Dick said as they climbed the stairs. Tim didn’t plan on saying anything until he saw Dick glance at him. “Yeah, that’s fine. Jason will be okay tomorrow. She can meet him then. You’re gonna be here tomorrow, right? Or will you go back to Bludhaven?” Tim asked.

Dick smiled and ruffled the younger boy’s hair. “I just have to pop over to the ‘Haven for a few hours to make a few arrangements. Then I’ll come back here,” Dick promised. “What, you gonna miss me, Timmy?” he laughed quietly, pulling Tim into a one-armed hug. “You wish,” Tim said, rolling his eyes. _No, it’s just that you’re not emotionally-autistic like the rest of us here. You’ll be able to deal with Jason,_ Tim though privately as he waved goodnight to Dick and disappeared into his own room.

Tim was relieved that he didn’t have anything much on his agenda tomorrow and he could sleep in. He was drained and felt that he could sleep for a few days. But it wasn’t a good sleep; his dreams haunted by mad cackles of laughter and toothy smiles – and there was a boy running and hollering for help and Tim tried his best to help him, but he always failed.

* * *

Jason could hear voices. They were muffled, but they seemed to be arguing.

Which was, actually, pretty weird if he thought about it because no one knew about this safe house and he lived alone. He kept it pretty clean and Alfred would definitely be proud, so he knew it couldn’t have been any mutated rats talking either. Either way, they were like an annoying drone in his head. Maybe there was a brawl in the street or something. Yeah.

“Shut the Hell up,” he groused, shifting in his bed, “I’m tryin’ to catch some sleep here,” he growled. The voices seemed to ignore him, and instead, rose in volume. Didn’t those idiots _care_ that the _fucking Red Hood_ was in the Goddamned area?! He sat up abruptly, and was startled when his eyes met with a man across the room. “What the ever-loving _fuck,”_ he hissed, his heart leaping in his throat. He tried to leap out of bed, but his feet were tangled in the sheets and he found himself making friends with the floor a second later.

“Shit. Shit shit shit…” Jason said, pushing himself against the wall. He realised the man he saw earlier was himself; it was his own reflection in a mirror. Why the Hell would someone even place a mirror there so the first thing you could see in the morning was yourself, he didn’t know. It would be bad for anyone’s self-confidence. Only then, did he realise that he was not in his own safe house. Which could only mean… _Not safe. Not safe. Dangerous, Jason, proceed with extreme fucking caution,_ he thought to himself. Outside, the voices had lulled to murmurs. They didn’t seem to have heard his fall, whoever they were. They seemed to be coming from somewhere next to his room.

Jason surveyed the room, calming down slightly but still high on the alert. _Mirror over there, a wardrobe, bed, lamp… These aren’t my clothes,_ he made a mental check-list. _Not injured; no bruises, no concussion… nothing,_ he thought. A small cough in the furthest corner of the room caught his attention. He stood up on shaky legs, lips pulled into a snarl and his body jumping into defensive mode.

“Who in _Hell_ are you?!” he demanded, eyes narrowed suspiciously at the girl. Or maybe… maybe she had been there this whole goddamned time, and he didn’t realise. He sure as hell didn’t hear or see her sneak in – which could only mean one thing. Realisation dawned upon him, and it didn’t help make the situation any better… in fact, Jason was sure it was worse. “You’re a bat. A fucking bat. I’m in the Manor, huh?” Jason said. He was better off with Killer Croc at this point. The girl – _Asian,_ he thought, _Cassandra Cain. Black Bat. Lethal and deadly_ – nodded her head. She didn’t seem to be offended by the way he said it, but she seemed to find him intriguing.

Cassandra Cain wasn’t in uniform. Red Hood has never had a run-in with the Black Bat before, has never even met her. He’s seen her around, sure, and he’s pretty sure she’s seen him around too. They were in a similar line of work, so it was hard not to. But he never heard her speak before, though he did do a rough profile check when he first heard about her. “You gonna kill me now? ‘Cause I might as well be dead anyway,” he said dramatically, spreading his arms. That managed to make a corner of her mouth turn up, amused.

“No kill. Not anymore. Name is Cassandra. Cass,” she introduced. Her sentences were broken, and her accent seemed to be a mixture of what he couldn’t tell; but Jason could tell she was trying her best to convey what she meant. It was a bit… endearing. _Snap out of it, Jason, she just said she didn’t kill ‘anymore’. Which meant she once has, and she’s gonna have your ass the minute she’s gotten sick and tired of you. She’s a freaking bat, one of them,_ he reminded himself.

“Well, if you change your mind; you’d have to find me first. I can put up one Hell of a fight, just to warn you,” Jason said. He didn’t wait for an answer – he didn’t think she would give him one, anyway – and walked towards the door. “Stay. You stay,” Cassandra spoke up. He turned to look at her, but she didn’t make a move. She didn’t seem to be ordering him, but sounded like she wanted to let him know. He was supposed to stay.

“Thanks but no thanks,” he replied automatically before slipping out of the door. He could still hear the two people arguing – _Bruce and Dick_ – and was glad that they had closed the door to the room. He wouldn’t have to bother going into ninja mode or whatever to get away, unharmed and unscathed. Jason planned to make his way to the cave, grab all his stuff and get the Hell out of there as fast as he could. He had no clue what happened, but he had more important things to think about right now.

There was another deliberate small cough behind him. _Shit, what does she want?,_ he thought to himself. “You gonna report me to Daddybats and Dickiebird?” he asked. Cassandra cocked her head slightly, studying him. Then, she shook her head in a definite no. He was a bit taken aback by that. “Then what do you want?” he asked, keeping an eye on the door that confined both Bruce and Dick. She just shrugged in return. “Weirdo,” he muttered under his breath and inched forward, intent on making his way to the grandfather clock that led to the cave. Cassandra, again, took no offense at being called a weirdo but a corner of her lip twitched.  

She trailed after him, just following a short distance behind. Jason could feel her interest gaze burning the back of  his head but he paid no heed to her. _The sooner you get outta here, Jay, the better,_ he thought to himself. Just as he was about to turn the corner, a voice spoke wryly from the end of the hallway. “Leaving so soon, Master Jason?” Alfred asked with raised eyebrows. “Without even a farewell? You have better manners than that,” he said. Jason shrank against the wall, and looked around for Cassandra. She had disappeared. When and how, he didn’t know.

“…Hey, Alfred! Didn’t see you there. Yeah, uh... thanks for letting me crash here. ‘m just gonna take my stuff now and get the fu – get out of here. Got a few jobs to do,” Jason said breezily. “I am afraid that is not possible, Master Jason. You need more bed rest,” Alfred said, already striding towards him and steering him back to his room. Jason tried to resist against the butler’s steel grip; but even if he had a bone to pick with the family he wouldn’t ever run across Alfred. “Alfie, I can do that at my own place,” he protested. Alfred shot him a look. “Excuse me if I do not believe you, Master Jason; but none of you are capable of bed rest on your own since all of you are apparently easily disillusioned into a healthy state of physique,” Alfred retorted.

Jason wanted to argue more but he couldn’t say anything to _that._ But he was stubborn, and he was desperate to get his ass out of the Manor, so he opened his mouth to say more. “Cass told me you were awake,” Tim’s voice floated down the staircase, interrupting Jason’s speech. He didn’t look like he slept well; but then again, not many of them do to begin with. “Babybird!” Jason greeted with enthusiasm, as he was dragged along by Alfred. “You’re up early. You look like Hell though. Hey, think you can tell Alfie here that I can do just fine on my own?” he asked.

Tim, surprisingly, stayed rooted at his spot and didn’t move towards Jason. Instead, his grip tightened on the banister. “I think it’s better if you get some more rest… Jason,” he replied, “Just – just take it easy. You had a tough night yesterday,” he said. Jason narrowed his eyes and planted his feet firmly on the ground, his attention solely on Tim. The younger male had a blank look on his face, but he looked as if he wanted to fidget or turn away. That didn’t rest well with Jason. “Y’know, Babybird, you’re acting kinda weird. What happened last night, huh?” Jason asked in a dangerously low tone.

Tim set his jaw and refused to answer. “Unless, of course; _we_ did something you’re shy about. It’s okay, I understand,” Jason said, his eyes gleaming wickedly. Tim turned a faint red and his lip curled in disgust. Alfred coughed drily. “No, Jason, we didn’t do anything. Just go back to your room,” Tim said quietly. Without a word, he turned around and walked away from the staircase; slamming the door to his room shut. Jason winced, and Alfred took the opportunity to tug him along. “What’s his problem? Is he moody in the mornings or something?” Jason asked. Alfred seemed hesitant to answer him as Jason stumbled after him.

“No, Alfred, c’mon. You gotta tell me what I did. Babybird’s acting weird, Dick and Bruce are arguing like a married couple – that’s normal actually – and apparently, I ‘had a tough night’. Something’s wrong, Alf, you gotta tell me about it. No one here’s gonna tell me anything anytime soon, ” Jason demanded. Alfred looked at him with an expression that Jason couldn’t read. “ _Nothing_ is wrong, Master Jason,” he replied almost fiercely, and Jason shrank back, “and it is certainly not my place to tell you so. I… will call for Master Bruce,” Alfred said, a shadow passing over his face. Jason was left staring after the retreating figure.

 _Well fuck,_ Jason thought, _I did something wrong then._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to portray Jason as someone who was okay with Tim, and he'll warm up to Cass. He's a funny guy, Todd; and I didn't want to write him as too angsty or moody. He's just pretty wary around Bruce and Dick, but otherwise, he's okay. Feedback is much appreciated. Until next time!


	4. Distrust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Dick talks to Jason - of course he doesn't like their proposition. But it wasn't a proposition, but more of an order; so it wasn't like he had much choice anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, here's the next chapter. I know Dick is usually portrayed as a touchy-feely kind of guy, but I tried to tone it down here a little. They're all wary of Jason right now, not sure what he's going to do, going to think... well, enjoy!

Jason sat at the edge of the bed, his mind whirling. 

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that he did something wrong last night, and he’d made Tim pissed at him. Bruce and Dick were probably fighting over what he did. Bruce must have said something to Alfred too, for him to react like that. Alfred didn’t get riled up easily, if at all. Sure, he got annoyed too if he found out Jason wasn’t eating well or getting enough sleep or something – but he was usually very stable. _Which means,_ Jason thought wildly, _you fucked up real bad this time._

He was currently having an internal panic attack as he tried to come up with what exactly he had done – Jason knew himself, and he would admit freely that he was no angel – when there was a knock at the door announcing Alfred’s arrival. “Master Jason, I have informed both Master Bruce and Master Dick that you are awake and seemingly healthy,” Alfred said, popping his head in. “Yeah? Tell them it’s because I haven’t seen them lately,” Jason drawled, trying to sound nonchalant.

“I am sure they heard,” Alfred replied, and he opened the door wider to allow both Dick and Bruce to enter the room. When they were fully in, Alfred shut the door and left the trio in an uncomfortable silence. Jason was sure that the butler would have locked them in if he could. Bruce was currently staring at a spot a hair’s width from Jason’s head and Dick was slightly tense.He was the one who broke the silence first. 

“I’m glad you’re awake, Jaybird,” Dick said softly, staring at the younger man intensely.

Dick looked like he wanted to pull Jason into a hug, but managed to refrain himself from doing so – and Jason couldn’t tell if he felt more relieved or disappointed. “Well that makes one of us,” Jason said, leaning against the headboard of the bed casually. Bruce was still pointedly boring holes in the wall and that annoyed Jason like, a lot. “So what d’you wanna talk about? I don’t have all day. I’ve got my own jobs to do – Red Hood’s pretty busy lately,” Jason said.

Dick glanced slightly at Bruce but said nothing. That irritated Jason a lot more. “That’s… fair enough. We’re not gonna keep you here long, Jay. I just need a few answers,” Dick went on. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day. Hit me with it, officer, I’ll try my best to be a good citizen – this time, anyway,” Jason sniggered, trying to hide the fact that his heart was beating fast. He didn’t like where this was going. Dick took a seat at the edge of the bed, a serious frown on his face. Bruce was looking at Dick now, seemingly tense.

“Jaybird… can you remember anything from last night? At all?” Dick asked tentatively. “Yeah, about that - I met Babybird just now and apparently, I did something terrible last night. He was all moody and crap. I have no clue what I did yesterday, just that I was on patrol like usual and – and…” Jason trailed off, doubt filling his heart. Dick was still studying him, and this time so was Bruce. “So what? If I killed someone again, it wasn’t the first time I’ve done the dirty deed. And in my defense, they probably deserved it,” Jason added. He felt satisfied when he saw Bruce set his jaw.

But what caught his attention was when Dick’s eyes seemed to darken at the answer and he looked even more tired. Bruce’s face was a blank mask that Jason couldn’t read. “...Jay, we were all on patrol yesterday. Crane – he was planning to gas the whole city with fear gas. We managed to handle the situation, but…” Dick trailed off, running a hand through his hair. 

“But what? We sniffed some of it in, or something? Wouldn’t be the first time that happened, Dickiebird,” Jason said matter-of-factly. “None of us got hit but you. You were with Catwoman, Jay,” Dick said. Jason stared hard at Dick, his mind gluing the pieces together.

“I killed her, huh?” Jason said, his mouth dry. Dick looked stricken. “No. No, you didn’t kill her, Jason,” Dick said slowly. Something like relief curled itself in Jason’s stomach, but he was still wary. “If I didn’t kill her, why’re you acting like I did?” Jason asked. Dick pursed his lips and looked away. This time, it was Bruce that answered in turn.

“You didn’t kill her, Jason, but you almost did. She was tortured,” Bruce said. _By you,_ was the last part of the sentence. Jason stared at his hands, the information too much to handle for a moment. His heartbeat was slow, and he sounded almost relaxed when he spoke again. He was grateful for that, he didn’t plan on sharing any of his weaknesses with his so-called ‘family’. “Then she’s fine. That’s all you wanted to tell me? I thought it was gonna be something bigger,” Jason said. He forced himself to sound casual, but his tone was a bit rougher than normal.

Dick looked at him again, and for the first time; Jason could see the anger in his eyes. “You nearly killed Selina, Jason. And you tried to kill Tim too. That should be pretty big, even for you,” Dick said. That was… certainly news to Jason. It wasn’t like he had never tried it before, killing Tim, but… but they were on good terms now. The Replacement – Babybird – was okay. Heck, Tim had even helped him a few times in some dire situations and out of a few tight spots. No wonder Tim was pissed at him.

And Selina – shit. But it was the fear gas talking. It couldn’t have been him. Sure, sometimes Jason himself found his train of thought close to approaching disturbing themes, but – he wasn’t crazy. “So,” Jason spoke up, his voice in a monotone, “so I nearly killed them. So what? I was all high on gas. Pretty sure you know first-hand what fear gas feels like and what it does. I wasn’t… you get hyped up on fear,” Jason said. _It wasn’t me. I didn’t do any of those. I wouldn’t,_ was what he didn’t voice out. But even so, there was a tiny bit of doubt in his mind.

He caught Bruce’s watchful gaze and anger clawed at his heart. “You don’t believe me, do you? Somehow, you think that ‘cause I’m all levels of fucked-up apparently, it wasn’t the fear gas and I – I… fuck, you think I did it, huh?” Jason’s voice trembled with suppressed rage and frustration. He could feel hot tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and he blinked them away furiously. “Don’t say that, Jason. We don’t think it was you, of course not,” Dick said forcefully, but he sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

“We don’t believe that you had the intention to kill Catwoman and Red Robin, Jason,” Bruce spoke for the first time. His voice was husky, a familiar deep baritone that used to be a source of comfort for Jason. Now, it sent a sense of foreboding and wariness in him.“But we do know you had the intention to kill. One of the effects of fear gas is that it affects the victim’s senses, warping reality into a world of fear. The overstimulation sends the body into attack mode. You were a victim of the fear gas, and we’re not… you’re not being blamed for that, Jason,” Bruce continued quietly.

Jason listened to Bruce’s explanation with mixed feelings. “…Right. Fine. Then all I have to do now is send ‘em some flowers and say I’m sorry, right? It wasn’t me. I – we established that,” Jason said, trying to sound firm. “It’s not as simple as that,” Bruce sighed. He looked uneasy at where the thread of conversation was leading to, but he continued. “Jason, we’re aware that there are some… complications to the matter. Issues that need to be addressed,” Bruce said carefully. His eyes were trained on the younger man’s as he spoke.

“Big surprise,” Jason said humorlessly. Bruce ignored him, his expression unreadable but solemn. “To accomplish that, you will stay here, at the manor,” Bruce said. There was a pregnant pause. Both Dick and Bruce were staring at Jason hard, like he was going to disappear. And damn, he wished he could.

“I – what? No. No, I’m not gonna stay here. Any problems or ‘issues’ that you think I need help with – I don’t! I can do just fine on my own. I’ve been sticking by the damn rules just so that I wouldn’t be seeing any fucking bats around, and that’s not gonna change! If you – if you… shit, if you don’t trust me that much, I’ll leave Gotham. I’ll leave the goddamned city, okay? But you can’t – can’t fucking babysit me! You can’t keep me here on a leash, I can’t – I can’t…” The words poured out of Jason’s mouth like a torrent, but he couldn’t stop. He was filled with disbelief; there was anger and frustration – and fuck it, he felt sad. Unhappy. They didn’t trust him at all, did they?

His head was hurting now, and his eyes were stinging from unshed tears – and he just felt like a goddamned baby. He had followed the rules, he didn’t kill… it had been so long since he did. He had even helped them on a few missions when they needed it. But whatever he did, he couldn’t shake away the feeling that he would always be the fucking failed experiment – the one who, in the end, died because of one stupid mistake. One stupid fucking mistake. And now… now he’d done another mistake.

Both men in the room were stunned. Dick grabbed Jason’s hand. “Little Wing, calm down. It’s not like that. We’re trying to help you,” Dick said gently. The nickname was like a dagger in Jason’s heart, and he pulled his hand away like he was scalded. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable – defenseless. His heart screamed for him to succumb and just accept the familiar contact, but he couldn’t. He turned to something he was more familiar with.

“Shut up. Shut the _fuck_ up. I don’t need any help. Just – just leave me alone, alright? I’m tired,” Jason said angrily. And he realised that he really was. He was drained, and all he wanted to do was sleep. Dick was protesting, saying something more, but Jason turned away from the both of them obstinately and shut his eyes. He knew he was being childish, but he didn’t give a damn at that moment. He deserved acting the way he did, anyway, after all the shit he had to go through.

“Jaybird… Jay. You’re not alone in this – we’re helping you. You’re family,” Dick said, touching him gently on his calf. Jason gave him no reply, and he heard both Bruce and Dick take their leave. Once the door was shut and he was alone in the room, the silence was deafening. It used to be a comfort, especially after his resurrected days and he stopped hearing voices in his head that was so full of hate and anger – but now, after all that news about him going on a killing spree; he wasn’t sure if it was good being alone.

* * *

“It didn’t go well,” Tim stated when Dick walked in.

Dick flumped down between the younger male and Cassandra on the couch and stared glumly at the wall. “Cheer… cheer up?” Cassandra said, concern marring her features. Dick shot her a tired half-smile. “Yeah, I’ll try. You guys heard everything?” he asked. Tim glanced at Cassandra, whose expression betrayed nothing. “Yep. It wasn’t so hard, especially since Jason started yelling at the end,” Tim shrugged.

“Jason does not agree. Leave. He wants to leave,” Cass said, as if prodding Dick to go on. “He hates the idea of staying here,” Dick agreed, “he thinks we’re treating him like a problem. He’s not. He just _has problems_ that we need to solve,” he muttered. “He doesn’t want our help, Dick. What did Bruce say?” Tim asked. Dick sank down lower into the sofa, as if he wanted to bury himself there. Which wasn’t such a surprise, since he looked like death – he didn’t have a good night’s sleep either.

“Bruce still wants to send him to Arkham for therapy. He thinks Jason isn’t himself,” Dick said. _He hasn’t been himself since the day he got resurrected;_ Tim wanted to add to the silence that followed. He chose not to say anything, because he knew he would only succeed in dampening Dick’s mood. “What about you? You think we should do that?” Tim ventured. Cassandra was watching their exchange carefully.

“…Arkham has good psychologists and therapists. But it’s a bad idea. For once, Jason’s going to think we’re treating him just like another criminal. We’re finally getting along, kind of, and I don’t want this to become a setback for that. Secondly, Joker’s there. You put him anywhere near Jason, and everything’s gonna blow out of control. And you saw how he was, Tim, what he did. He’s gotten worse,” Dick said. He put his head in his hands. They were all silent for a moment.

“Forget – forget past. Jason safe now with us. We focus on one. We help him,” Cassandra said. She struggled to search for the right words, but Dick and Tim understood. “Cass is right. It… it doesn’t matter what he did last night. We’ll just have to help him now, whether he likes it or not,” Dick said.

Which was all fine and well for them, but Tim couldn’t help but think Jason wouldn’t appreciate it. Someone, somewhere along the line was going to get hurt – he just couldn’t pinpoint who.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. Jason thinks that this slip-up automatically brings him in the bats' bad books. And yeah, it does. Feedback is much appreciated! I also don't mind hearing some ideas out. Until next time then. Thanks for reading!


	5. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason leaves the Manor, talks to one of his victims and carries out his plan on leaving Gotham City. The family panics when he goes missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I had fun writing this chapter so I hope you'll have fun reading it. I'm trying to mellow out Jason's personality here. He's not Lazarus-crazy in this fic, but more clear-headed. He's still a snarky piece of crap though.

“Master Jason, I have prepared lunch. Would you consider joining the family at the dining hall?” Alfred asked. He wasn’t fooled by Jason’s attempt of faking sleep. Jason groaned into the pillow. He was starving in fact, and couldn’t remember when was the last time he had eaten – but he wasn’t about to go down and meet the rest of the flipping family. “I think I’ll be sick if I hafta see any of them again,” he muttered miserably to himself, but Alfred caught it.

The door creaked open and Jason sat up to see Alfred carrying a tray. “I thought as much. Your lunch, Master Jason,” The butler said, setting it down for him. “Thanks, Alfred. You’re amazing,” he said, his mouth watering. He scarfed it down, nearly choking in the process but he didn’t care. Probably one of the better ways to die, anyway, now that he was here.

“C’mon, Alfred, sit down. I bet you’ve been runnin’ around the whole morning,” Jason mumbled. Alfred settled down in the wooden chair next to his bed, a small smile gracing his features. He wasn’t supposed to have favourites, of course; but the old butler always had a slightly softer spot for both Stephanie and Jason. For all of the faults that Batman seemed to have found with them, Alfred found them to be quite endearing. Neither of them ever missed out on a chance to give him presents on his birthday or any other ‘special’ day for that matter.

“The family hopes that you will stay, Master Jason,” Alfred said, not beating around the bush. Young or old, the butler knew that with a full stomach; anyone was more likely to be less hostile and friendlier. “So they can play babysitter and make sure big bad Red Hood doesn’t go nuts? Thought as much,” Jason replied. But there wasn’t much heat to his voice. “Your presence is greatly missed, Master Jason,” Alfred said, “Master Bruce hopes for your return,” he said.

Jason’s face was carefully blank, and Alfred couldn’t tell what was running on in his mind. One of the tricks he learnt from Bruce and put to great use. “No offense, Alfie, but that’s pretty obvious. He doesn’t trust me. I’m off my rocker. None of them do,” Jason said, taking a vicious bite of chicken. “But they can’t keep me here. I can’t st – I won’t stay here,” he continued. Alfred heard the slight stumble in his sentence, and a shadow flitted over the old butler’s face. It was only there for a few seconds before it disappeared.

“Even so, I hope you will reconsider, Master Jason,” Alfred said, gathering up the tray. Jason was silent as he helped Alfred clear up. He needed to get out of there; back to one of his own safe houses. Then he would just have to get the Hell out of Gotham fast. When Alfred turned to leave the room, Jason waited for a few seconds before he headed out too. The Manor was empty; which made things easier for Jason. He wanted his things back, especially his leather jacket, but there was no way he could get into the cave without alerting anyone else with the limited time he had. If he wanted to leave Gotham, he had to do it now.

Jason stole into Dick’s old room and put on a shirt and some scruffy jeans. He left the manor through the window and walked at a brisk pace through the grounds. There were a few things he had to do – get his necessities from his safe house, then pay Selina a visit. He guessed that she would be inside her own apartment if she wasn’t at the Manor being taken care of – she wasn’t too big a fan of the bats either.

* * *

Selina didn’t have a heart attack when she saw him at her balcony, standing tall and gangly with more than a hint of awkwardness. She leaned against the wall slightly and carefully waved her arm around the apartment, a small smirk on her face. She knew that there was an eighty percent chance of the Red Hood visiting her – the other twenty percent being kept away by force.

“Wanna come in?” she asked. “Sure, thanks. Got some bats on my trail I need to knock off,” he said, following her in. She locked the door and settled down on her favourite couch. Jason wasn’t looking at her, but she knew better. He probably seized her up even before he had walked through the door. “They’re after you already? Not much of a chance then,” she said, grimacing.

“No, they don’t know yet,” Jason admitted, “They wanted to play babysitter for me, when they should be doing it for you,” Jason added. His tone was even, but she could see that he was upset; tense. “Oh, you know me; I like my independence. I’ve been getting too much vitamin B too anyway,” she said. That earned her a small grin from him. “Yeah? Bats or Bruce?” he asked. She tossed him a half-lidded look. “That, kiddo; is need-to-know. Important information,” she said.

“Ugh. Forget I ever asked,” he said, fake-gagging. Her own smirk grew wider as she cocked her head to the side slightly and studied him. “So I’m taking it you’re leaving?” she asked. Jason studied the floor, his hands in the pockets of the hoodie. “…That’s the plan. Red Hood’s fucked up real good this time,” he said drily, looking at her bandaged arm. His eyes trailed to her neck, and she was thankful she was wearing a turtleneck so he couldn’t see more. “…’m sorry ‘bout that,” he mumbled.

“It wasn’t you, Hood, it was the gas – unless you were jealous of Batman and I and wanted to muscle in yourself… I mean, I know not many people can resist him. He’s quite the catch, if you know what I mean,” she said teasingly, her chin in her hand. Jason really did look sick this time round and almost choked on his own saliva. “You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t mind the Joker killin’ me again than _that,”_ he rasped, and she laughed.

“I’ll take your word for it then,” she said coyly. Jason seemed to sober up when she said that. “If the rest of ‘em would too, it’d definitely be easier. They still think I’m a raving nutcase – which yeah, not gonna lie; I can be but… I’m trying. I tried. Y’know?” he sighed. “They think you were in control?” Selina asked, rolling her eyes. Typical Bruce. “Batman’s saying no. But seeing is believing and all that crap,” he muttered. “Yeah, well, just so you know I’m not backing them up there. I was there first-hand, kid, and I should know. You didn’t attack Catwoman, or at least; you didn’t see me as me at that point. That’s pretty fair,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Jason looked away, his frown deepening. “Yeah. Yeah, I know; that’s what B said too. But he still said I was planning to kill. I… I can’t remember much, if at all. I just – I just wanna know who I was tryna kill. We’ve all been gassed before – but they’re all acting like I grew a second head or something. And I know what I did was shitty, downright fucking stupid, but… but I just wanna know what happened,” Jason said. Selina sighed and wished she could go over to him and give him a hug. He looked like he needed one. But she was still aching and she didn’t think it was a good idea.

“I can’t help you there, kiddo. You should ask Red Robin. He was there too, from what I know. He’s a pretty smart kid,” she said. He nodded mutely, and they both knew he wasn’t going to do it. Not if it meant going back. “Guess I better get goin’ if I want my Master Plan to work,” he said. Before he went out though, he handed her a neatly-wrapped box. She raised an eyebrow at the parcel.

“Chocolates. To raise your happiness level,” he said simply. “Level up then,” she said, winking. Just like that, he was out of the room and down the fire escape. She watched his retreating figure affectionately. Jason Todd, as bats go, was never really that bad no matter what the others seem to think. When he was gone, she unwrapped the parcel and saw that he had bought her favourite caramel chocolates. He had carefully taken out the price tag, but there was only one shop that sold the beauties - and they were pretty expensive as chocolates go. 

_Yep,_ Selina thought, popping one into her mouth,  _he's got a good heart, that one._  


* * *

_Bzzzt.Bzzzt-zzt-zzt._ Tim’s phone vibrated distractingly. 

He sighed. The whole meeting room was silent, save for the sounds of rustling papers and scratching of pens. He was currently at a very taxing meeting – one that determined the future stocks of Wayne Enterprises. Normally, the thought of picking up wouldn’t even cross his mind, but…

“Excuse me for a moment; I need to take a breather. I expect to see the draft ready when I return,” he said, clearing his throat. A few of the employees who hadn’t been pulling their weight properly and had been reprimanded earlier flinched as he got up. Tim walked out of the meeting room, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the caller ID with a sigh.

“Hey, Bruce, we just finished discussing the - what?” Tim stopped short. His feet automatically led him past the floor’s receptionist and out to the balcony. He was careful in keeping his face in a firm but friendly expression as he passed her. “Yeah, okay. What were you saying?” he asked. “You heard me. Jason left the Manor. He’s gone,” Bruce said. Tim could imagine the older man massaging his temples. “No trackers, no anything,” Tim guessed. There was a silence at the other end which confirmed his statement.

“He could be in any of his safe houses,” Tim said exasperatedly. “He’s not. We checked. All of them,” Bruce replied. “How long has it been?” Tim asked, already dreading the answer. “Almost four hours,” was the reply. Tim shut his eyes and leaned against the balcony. “Well, he’s not here if you’re wondering. Who else knows?” he asked. “Alfred. Barbara,” Bruce said shortly.

“Dick doesn’t know?” Tim asked. He frowned when there was no reply. “I’ll contact Dick. He might have a clue where he went. Jason could be in Bludhaven,” Tim said, trying to sound optimistic. But he knew it wasn’t really an option. Jason was getting better at the whole family thing – though the situation with the fear gas became a big drawback – but he got along better with Tim than the rest of them. He was okay with Barbara too, but he rarely saw her anyway.

Bruce grunted his agreement – not that he had much choice anyway. Tim dialed Dick’s number and waited patiently. He wasn’t disappointed when Dick replied on the second ring with a breathless ‘what’s up, Timmy?’. “Thanks for picking up. Jason’s gone. Bruce and Babs have checked all his safe houses. They can’t find him anywhere,” Tim said, looking at his watch. Two minutes had passed. “Any idea where he went?” Tim continued.

“…Bruce didn’t plan on telling me, did he,” Dick said. It wasn’t a question, but more of a statement. He sounded frustrated. “He didn’t want you to worry,” Tim said, the lie rolling off his tongue easily. Dick snorted in clear disbelief, his pants receding. Tim guessed that he must be in the gym. It was his off day today, so he wouldn’t be working. “So? Any ideas?” Tim asked.

“Yeah, actually, I do,” Dick replied, “we told Jason he was supposed to stay at the Manor – it didn’t go well. I think you heard the whole thing anyway. But he said something about leaving Gotham. He was… that desperate to leave the Manor. He didn’t want to stay,” Dick said. He sounded upset. “You think he’s left the city by now? It’s been almost four hours, according to Bruce,” Tim said. “That’s… yeah. Yeah, he should be gone,” Dick said quietly. They were both silent for a second before Tim spoke up.

“It could make him better. He won’t have to see any of us,” Tim began in a light tone, “and if we did use force to make sure he stays, Jason’s pretty capable leaving any time he wants,” he finished. “You’re right,” Dick said after a moment, “but Jason needs to understand that we’re helping him. He’s _family,_ Tim. He’s one of us,” he finished. The older man’s voice seemed to break at the end.

Tim pursed his lips and glanced down at his watch. Four minutes. One minute to go before he would be missed. He never took a break as long as this one before. Plenty of time.

“I think I know someone who can help,” Tim said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading it. Next chapter, a new character's going to get involved. Keep an eye out, alright? Feedback is much appreciated. It keeps me going. Until next time!


	6. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason pays an old 'pal' of his a visit for a favour... Tim's called someone in to help out, and Jason meets a face that he's not that familiar with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys, this is the sixth chapter. There's not much to say, except... I'm not so proud of this chapter. I gotta admit I was struggling with the paragraph thing - I'd really appreciate it if you guys tell me my mistakes and send me constructive criticism. I can try to make the fic better this way. Well, enjoy.

So far so good. Jason hadn’t run into any of the bats yet and it had been a few hours since he left the Manor. He had already gathered up a few basic necessities that he couldn’t part with – a knapsack that carried a cereal bar and his wallet. He was a simple guy. Jason would be lying if he said that was all, since he also had a small dagger and a gun somewhere on his being. He wasn’t planning on getting into any fights, but his smart mouth always got him into trouble. Better safe than sorry.

He was currently trudging through the grimy, murky paths of Crime Alley. Jason was making his way to an old shack belonging to a guy that owed him a favour. He was hoping that he could ‘borrow’ a bike or something to hotfoot it out of Gotham. The guy was stinking rich anyway, so it wasn’t like it was going to be a problem – unless he wanted to make it a problem. Jason made sure his hood was on and he took long, purposeful strides to send a message that the Red Hood wasn’t in the mood for trouble – not tonight.

It was already dark, and Jason saw the neon lights of the nightclub and heard the beating of the music from the speakers inside before he was even up close. The music wasn’t up to maximum volume, but it would be in a few more hours. The tenants that lived in the flats near the club had evacuated it since they couldn’t stand the sound pollution that filtered through until the crack of dawn – but no one has ever dared file a complaint against Mr. Oswald Cobblepot; Penguin.

“Whaddaya want?” One of the bouncers who looked like he ate steroids for breakfast – and he probably did – asked Jason, looking him up and down with suspicion. He looked like he was new in town and didn’t seem to recognize Jason’s getup.

“Need to speak to your boss. Got an appointment,” Jason replied, folding his arms. Inside, the nightclub was already blaring with music and there were already a lot of people milling around. A few people passing him on their way inside shot him curious looks. It was weird to see the Red Hood operating earlier than usual – he usually worked around midnight.

“Mr. Cobblepot ain’t seein’ anyone t’day. I ain’t got no memo,” he said nastily. He folded his own arms to look more intimidating, the muscles in his arms bulging out impressively. “Now get your ass outta here before I rearrange your pretty face under that damn helmet,” he growled.

Jason could feel his own mouth twist into a filthy grin. He wasn’t looking for a fight and he knew he would be wasting his own time but – but it had been a long day and he was _itching_ to vent out his anger. He cocked his head to the side. “Yeah? You ask real nice and I’d take it off for ya. But I’m warnin’ you - just about anything can look pretty next to that ugly mug of yours,” he said.

They were already attracting a small crowd near the entrance as club-goers craned their necks to catch a glimpse of the Red Hood up close.

“Why you little -!,” The bouncer growled angrily resembling a mad pit bull, taking a set forward with an arm raised. Jason tensed up, his hands balling into fists, ready to dodge a punch and deal out a kick. He could already feel the rush of adrenaline thrumming through his head, making him almost lightheaded in a manic feat of happiness.

“What in the – wak! - world is happening here?!” A voice cried out angrily. Both men stopped and turned to see a shorter, stout man appear; his chest puffed out indignantly and his face forming a disgusted sneer. “Hood? I didn’t do anything wrong this time if you’re after me,” Penguin said. The bouncer shot Jason a smug look.

“I’m not here for that, Penguin. I’m here to discuss that business proposition from last time – or did you forget about that?” Jason asked, an underlying threat beneath his voice if Penguin chose to ‘forget’. Penguin glanced at his bouncer for a moment, as if seizing him up and thinking what damage Jason could do to him if he chose to disagree. Then, he turned sulkily to Jason.

“…Fine. We’ll get a more private room to discuss,” Penguin scoffed, turning back and leading his way through the crowd. The crowd parted for the both of them; one a money-fixed greedy villain and the other a slightly unstable ruthless vigilante. A look from Penguin to the crowd sent them muttering, back to their own business. Jason purposefully brushed past the bouncer roughly, trailing after the stumpy villain.

Once they were in a more secure private room with padded walls – Jason would bet anything it was for dirty dealings – Penguin turned to him expectantly. “Well? What can I do to help you?” he asked, studying Jason through unfriendly, beady eyes. “I’d like you to know that I do understand our, ah… ‘business proposition’ as mentioned – but business has been unforgiving lately, and profits are hard to come by. If you’re expecting a lot, I’ll have to see what I can do,” he continued.

Jason took off the hood covering his face. He knew with only the mask on, he had a better chance at intimidating Penguin – make sure he upheld his end of the deal. “You owe me a favour, Penguin. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be lyin’ dead in a ditch somewhere. ‘Course, if you change your mind – pretty sure no one’s gonna miss you,” Jason said lowly. Something in his expression made Cobblepot shrink back.

“Wak! Fine! Just fine, Hood. What can I do for you?” he squawked. Jason was about to open his mouth to answer but a loud rapping on the door to the room made them both look up. The bouncer from earlier popped his head through the door, looking angrier if possible. He glared at Jason, before turning to Penguin.

“Boss, there’s someone here to see you,” he announced. Penguin narrowed his eyes at the interruption, opening his mouth as if to argue, when the bouncer continued. “Says it’s important. Says she’s an old friend,” he went on. Penguin pursed his lips and he nodded. He hurried to the door and glanced back at Jason.

“My apologies, Hood, but this cannot wait. I value my friends highly,” he said snidely as if somehow Jason didn’t seem to do the same, “we’ll return to our discussion later. Once you make up your mind, I’ll, ah… be ‘happy’ to be of your service,” Penguin continued. With that, he was out of the door and Jason was left alone in the room, not even waiting for Jason to argue.

Jason sighed as he flumped down into one of the chairs. He was starting to get twitchy with impatience. He needed to get a move on if he wanted to leave the city. The longer he stayed here, the harder it would be for him to leave – not only because of the rest of the ‘family’ but also because no matter how Gotham had treated him; he was born there. It was his city. Leaving it; leaving everything he knew behind… was a big deal.

He didn’t know how long he waited, but he was sure it couldn’t be more than a few minutes at most when there was a smart rapping on the door and Penguin lumbered in. He swept the room with a suspicious look, as if he was searching for any bugs Jason planted in while he was gone, before jutting his chin out at the younger man. “Well? Have you made up your mind, Hood?” he asked.

“As much as I’d like to suck you dry, Penguin, I don’t need any of your money,” Jason said to Cobblepot’s visible relief, “all I want is a ride. A bike, preferably. One that can travel at insane speeds. Know what I mean?” he asked, balancing on the back legs of the chair as he did so.

Penguin snorted inelegantly. “Of course. I must say I’m surprised at the request, but no matter. I have an array of two-wheeled and four-wheeled vehicles that you can choose from. Follow me,” he ordered, already out of the room, “and maybe we’ll be done with our business ordeal,” he muttered. Jason grinned, knowing full well that Penguin loathed him and hated being in his debt – which made it all the more fun.

Penguin led him down an elevator which travelled downwards and finally led to a vast room underground. There were all sorts of items there that Jason knew were very valuable – there were tame things from intricately-designed mirrors to wickedly cool things like swords with blades the size of his own legs.

“Heh, you got quite a collection, huh?” Jason asked as they passed all the things towards where the vehicles were kept. Penguin looked smug at the compliment. They stopped in front of a row of gleaming motorbikes. Jason could see his own reflection when he leaned in close to one of the bike’s exteriors, studying it.

“That particular one has a lot of firepower – literally. It can burn all your foes to death. The beauty next to it can travel underwater; I had to go to painful lengths to collect it. However, it has been booked for quite a large sum – but for you, Hood, I could put off the bargain,” Penguin said. Hood followed him down the endless row of motorbikes, only half-listening as Penguin pointed out each and every one.

“I don’t care what it can do, Penguin,” he interrupted the rambling villain, “I just need one that rides fast. Now,” he said. Penguin huffed and looked at him in distaste. “Wak, fine! For you, Hood, anything,” he said silkily, leading an impatient Jason to the very end of the row.

“This beauty here hasn’t been tested for safety,” Penguin announced. Jason studied the sleek black motorbike in front of him. There was nothing special about it, but Jason could see that it would blend in perfectly with the darkness. Almost like the Batmobile. “But it has an interesting past. It used to belong to a ‘hero’ who called himself Ghost Rider. Of course, we made a few modifications here and there, but…” he stopped when Jason turned to him.

“I’ll take it,” Jason said. Penguin’s lips stretched into a thin smile – he reminded Jason vaguely about a cat that had cornered a delicious mouse.

“Alright then,” The villain said, rocking back and forth on his feet, “I’ll send it out back for you, since I assume that you’ll be using it right away,” Penguin said. He took out his phone, dialed the number and started barking orders to the poor sap down the line. “He’s taking the latest model. Take it to the back alley; we don’t want a, ah… big mess in the club area upfront,” he instructed. Then, he turned to Jason with a crooked smile. “Everything’s taken care of. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have – wak! – other business to attend to,” he said.

Jason grabbed Penguin by his shoulder roughly before he could turn away. “You takin’ me for an idiot, Penguin? I’m hurt. You’re coming with me until I get what I was promised,” he growled. Penguin rolled his eyes and grumbled, something about ‘paranoid customers that waste his time’ but didn’t protest. Both he and Jason made their way up and to the back of the nightclub; where company was even shadier and darker if possible.

When Jason was finally out of the nightclub, he was glad to breathe in fresh air again – the stench of cigarette smoke and perfume just about killed him back there. “So? Where is it?” he asked, looking around at the unimpressive backdoor of the nightclub that Penguin owned. There were just a few stray cats and a couple of garbage bins that smelled pretty bad; and decaying wooden fences that surrounded the perimeter.

“Wak! Here it comes!” Penguine cried out. Sure enough, there was the sound of an engine roaring monstrously in the distance – and suddenly it sounded much, much closer. There was an ear-splitting sound of wood splintering, and the bike burst through the wooden fence with a rider hanging onto it. Penguin dived for cover into the nightclub, locking the backdoor as he did so and leaving Jason alone.

 _I’m gonna kill that bastard,_ Jason seethed inwardly as he dropped into a battle stance, his gun at the ready. The bike that Jason ‘purchased’ skidded to a halt, leaving deep tire tracks in the dirt. The rider would have been intimidating since he was dressed in a black outfit – however, what spoiled the image was that Jason could see a dark purple shirt underneath the jacket which had tiny cute heart patterns over it.

“Take one more step and I’ll fucking shoot,” Jason hissed, undeterred by the shirt. He had met a couple of oddballs in his lifetime – and those oddballs almost always turned out to be serial maniacs who had athirst to kill even if they were the last people to be suspected of it. He kept his gun trained on the rider, wondering wildly who the Hell it could be. _Never made ‘friends’ with a biker yet,_ he thought, _but still… if he’s after you, you’re not gonna get away with a few scratches, Jay. And if you don’t – travelling’s gonna be a bitch._

The rider took off the helmet he was wearing, and Jason tensed up – only to reveal blonde hair tied in a ponytail. With a purple hair tie. “Hey, hey – I thought the Red Hood didn’t kill anymore. Only seriously injure, but that’s cool. You don’t wanna shoot me though, I’m one of the ‘bat brood’… and wow, I guess I shouldn’t have said that considering your record with all of them. It’s not gonna make things easier, huh?” The girl said.

Jason stared at her, but maintained his grip on the gun. “You’re the new Batgirl. The one O was fawning over,” he said flatly, his heart sinking for what seemed the umpteenth time that day. He was too late. They even sent one of their new ‘members’ after him – what, to spite him? To make him feel bad? Show him that their fucking piece of crap ‘family’ was growing?

Batgirl must have been able to see his expression even through the lens he was wearing because the corners of her lips tightened. “Right, I’ve made up my mind – I’m gonna ditch the ‘duty’ or whatever it is I was assigned to. Not the first time I ever did that, anyway, so not a big surprise,” she said firmly, already off the bike and tossing the jacket and helmet to the ground. She didn’t have a cowl this time round, but she did have a mask that covered the upper part of her face. Jason stared at her dubiously.

“You stripping or something? ‘Cause I dunno what Batman told you about me, but I ain’t a pervert,” he said. That earned a snort from Batgirl, and her expression seemed to turn bitter.

“Yeah, well… I wouldn’t know anything about that. Batman doesn’t trust me enough to share anything much with me. Not that I expect much, since he’d never in a million years trust my Dad – and I don’t blame him. I don’t trust my Dad either. He’s one of the baddies we go after, y’know?” she muttered, avoiding his gaze.

“Join the club. All the bats have fucking trust issues. Not my problem,” Jason said. He crossed his arms and eyed her with a judging look.

“Yeah? Well I just shared stuff about my Dad with you – and that’s supposed to be a terrible secret. And hey, we’ve got something in common, did you know that? That’s good, right? Well, Red Robin told me that it was good – I don’t think you can count dying as something good to have in common. But that might just be me. I know how this whole vigilante thing can mess up your social life,” Batgirl rambled. That caught Jason’s interest. He quirked an eyebrow at her, as if to say ‘really? You died too? Shit’.

“I totally died. See? I can already feel the start of a beautiful friendship. So what do you say we hang out for a while? I know this awesome burger shack that’s open around the clock. The milkshakes there are amazing,” she said.

For once, Jason couldn’t feel eyes raking him over; studying him and dissecting him like he was something complicated under a microscope. He couldn’t detect any pleading in her tone either – and she _did_ say she died once too. Maybe the latest Batgirl wasn’t all that bad. _And_ she didn’t get along well with Bruce either.

“You had me at ‘dying’, BG,” he said, making up his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that's the end of this chapter. I'm not too familiar with Stephanie Brown but I heard she's awesome - I also read somewhere that she's pretty alike to Jason. Not sure if that's true, but she's pretty hot. Feedback is much appreciated, and I do enjoy criticism. I'd really like to improve my writing, y'know? Until next time!


	7. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Hood and Batgirl settle down for a nice, long talk; and Jason - he finds that the newest Batgirl in town isn't so bad as he thought she would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, here's the next chapter; Decision. It's all Red Hood and Batgirl here having a heart-to-heart talk. I'm not too familiar with Stephanie Brown, but I tried to read up on her and get her into character. Tell me if you like it. I'm pretty worried that I didn't get her right. I just felt that Jason and Stephanie would get along if given the chance. Enjoy!

“That bike was _Ghost Rider’s_ bike. I heard he’s a cool guy, but I don’t think Penguin got that off him for free,” Batgirl, who had told Jason to call her ‘Steph because we gotta start trusting each other since we have a long talk session ahead of us, said as she drank her milkshake. They were sitting in a corner booth of an old shack called ‘Dee’s Burgers’. There was only one old woman who seemed to run the whole shack and she didn’t blink twice at the lenses that covered their faces as she wrote down and delivered their orders. “Still, I got a ride on it. Pretty sweet while it lasted. How’d you get Penguin to give it to you?” Steph asked.

“Call that sweet? Nearly killed us back there – if I didn’t shoot you first,” Jason snorted, rolling his eyes, “he owed me a favour. He had an argument with a bastard that cheated him off some cargo the same night I decided to kill the scum because he was makin’ some kids do his dirty work for him. ‘Course I heard down the vine that he roughed up some ladies while he was at it… don’t say he didn’t deserve it,” Jason said, staring Stephanie down. He half-expected her to launch into a crappy ‘killing isn’t justice, Jason’ speech.

Surprisingly, she leaned back in her seat and looked at him contemplatively. “…I can’t say anything, really. If I said the, uh… ‘bastard’ deserved it, than I don’t know what my Dad deserves. He’s done worse things than that dude you killed, so I guess he probably deserves way worse. I hate my Dad, don’t get me wrong. He’s done terrible things… But I couldn’t kill him. I’d just make sure he’s locked down. Out of the game,” she said. Her eyes were hooded and Jason couldn’t read what was going on in her mind. They were both silent for a while, sipping their drinks.

“Fair enough,” Jason said with a shrug, “we skip the whole justice talk thing. But I’m hoping we don’t miss out the whole intense dying tutorial discussion I’m plannin’ to have – it’d take out all the fun,” he said. Stephanie seemed to lighten up a bit at that and she raised her eyebrows up at him.

“…You know there’s something called ‘hinting subtly’?” she asked with a grin.

“Ain’t no such thing as bein’ subtle when you’re beating the shit outta criminals,” Jason deadpanned.

“Told you the whole vigilante thing messes up your social life. But you learn to live with that. Well, let’s strike a bargain. Beneficial to both parties, I promise. A story for a story. Deal?” Stephanie asked, a serious look on her face.

“Whatever you want, BG. Now get on with it before I change my mind. I’m pretty unstable as it is. Might kill you if I don’t like it,” he said, a smirk visible on his face.

“I understand. But I’m gonna put up a bit of a fight though – I’m not going down for the second time. That’d just be embarrassing… and insulting,” she replied, wrinkling her nose. And… Jason decided that he liked her spunk. Batgirl was slowly growing on him – and he was torn in two; whether to hate her for being a new addition to the bats, or just accept her. She was likeable. A bit different than the rest. Not too driven to the point of paranoia. Maybe that was why they sent her.

“You’re gonna find this pretty disappointing – I can tell you that I’m not – but when I _died,_ I didn’t really die. I was _near_ death, like really near. So close to it,” She bit her lip, “I know you’re probably thinking that all the life must be rushing through my eyes and I start feeling disappointed and stuff… but I didn’t feel any of that, not really. Black Mask… he did a lot of things. I just remember that I was in a whole lot of pain and I was so desperate to get away, I forgot other stuff. I felt really – really stupid,” The blonde sighed heavily.

Jason looked at her, and for just a moment; he could feel the fear that emanated from her, the sadness, the terror she must have felt… the realization that it was the end, and she was going to go out that way; no one was there to save her. The pain of regret knowing it was her own damn fault. He looked away, clenching and unclenching his hands.

"But I didn’t die in the end. I got a second chance at living. It’s been a while ago though, and I’m fine now,” she said. Somehow, she sounded like she was trying to convince herself. “I mean… sometimes I dream about it. About dying again. The pain gets worse every time. It held me back – and for some time, I _was_ angry. Angry at myself, mostly, but also at a lot of other people too,” Stephanie said, and Jason understood. He nodded slowly. “But then I realized that no matter how angry or bitter I got, nothing was going to change. Stuff happens – and you just have to live through it. Just move forward,” she said. She tried to sound optimistic, but she sounded hollow.

“…It’s over now. You’re safe. Just remember that,” he said gruffly. The words he told here were often repeated like a mantra in his head when he was alone at night; particularly after a bad dream. He had to remind himself that he was safe, nothing was going to hurt him, the fucking clown wasn’t there. Her dreams couldn’t be far off from his.

Stephanie’s lips curled into a smile, and she folded her arms, back to normal. “Yeah, I know,” she said, “that’s my story though. Now it’s your turn. Think it can be as good as mine?” she tried to say jokily, but it came out a bit thin and reedy. Jason heard but chose to ignore it – sometimes the only way to counter anything that scared you was by laughing it in the face. Move on.

“If you like crowbars, sure,” he said easily, noticing the slight downturn of her mouth. She didn’t like them much then. “There ain’t much to tell. I got sold out by… a source. Joker blackmailed her into doing it but – yeah, it sucked. He used a crowbar to beat the shit outta me. There was a bomb. I was too late, I died. No big deal,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. Stephanie’s face was unreadable as she listened; the lens on her face covering any emotion in her eyes – if she had any to show. Bats had masks beneath their masks – and that annoyed Jason a Hell of a lot.

“Crawled my way outta my own grave. I was a zombie, literally. Talia found me, took me in, threw me into the Pit – and you get a brand new me. I went a bit crazy though, not gonna lie. The Pit messed me up real bad. I got over it. Whatever,” Jason said, his grip on his own milkshake tightening slightly. If Stephanie was disappointed from his lack of emotion or the short summarization of events; she didn’t show it. He was grateful for that.

“…I’m not sure how to respond properly to that because I don’t really meet resurrected zombies on a daily basis. But wow, that sucks. Congrats, you beat my record,” she cracked. Jason couldn’t help the smirk on his face.

“Nah, I didn’t. Yours sucked too. Let’s call it a tie,” he said, lacing his fingers together, as if he was making an important proposition. And maybe… it was. Sort of. It was good to know that he wasn’t the only one who had to go through shit like that.

“I never deny a good deal, so okay,” Stephanie replied, her smirk mirroring his. “But I’m warning you, next time; I’m gonna be winning the ‘Suckiest Life Story’ Award hands down so you better watch your back, Hood,” she said.

“You’re not so bad, BG. Thought you’d be a loser like the rest of ‘em, but you’re not so bad,” Jason said. Batgirl seemed to slump down at those words, as if they were a heavy burden that weighed her down, and she shot him a wry smile.

“You might; but Batman and the others don’t think so. I’m incapable apparently. Not up to the normal ‘bat standard’. At least, that’s what I get from time to time,” she said. She rested her cheek in her palm and lazily stirred her drink, looking a bit glum. Jason couldn’t help feeling a rush of anger at the confession. Figures Batman and the others couldn’t warm up to someone like Stephanie. She wasn’t emotionally-detached like them – she could be, if she wanted to; he was sure – but she wasn’t. It was a plus point to him. To them, probably not.

“Shouldn’t give a damn what they think, doll. They’re a pretty fucked up lot as it is. I’m not saying I’m not – I’m pretty fucked up too – but they take things to a whole different level,” Jason said plainly. Stephanie was staring at him with a small smile, but something unreadable in her expression. Something rueful – envious, even. “Stay away from ‘em and you’ll be fine. Fucking fantastic. Trust me,” he said.

“…I do. Trust you. I mean, we’re hanging out so I’m guessing we’re cool, right?” she said, waving a hand around the old restaurant, “but… okay, this is gonna sound really dumb and if you’re mad at me and, I don’t know, throw your coffee all over me or something I won’t be surprised – but before I met you, I was… I was pretty jealous of you. A bit. It’s stupid, I know. But I was jealous. Of you,” she seemed to stumble over her words and she sounded nervous. But there was a firmness in her tone, like she wanted Jason to know something important.

And Jason - Jason was a bit taken aback. Of all the things he heard her say, he really didn’t see that coming. But then again, he didn’t see the crowbar and his imminent death coming either. Jealous of him. Jealous of the fucking _Red Hood._ He wasn’t insecure – well, not when it comes to the question of family which was pretty damn sensitive no matter which family you’re talking about when it concerned him – but he didn’t have a great rep for Batgirl to be jealous of. Hell, he didn’t even _have_ a rep. Not a proper one, anyway.

Stephanie must have seen his dumbstruck expression because she wrung her hands a bit anxiously. “I mean – yeah, I know it’s dumb. You just said that they were messed up; the whole bat brood. But... but they’re like – they’re like a bunch of relatives that you kind of hate and they kind of hate you back but in the end, you know they’re there. You can trust them to be there for you when it – when it really counts, you know? They’re like – like this really creepy clan slash cult or something that once you join, you just can’t forget it… Okay, that _does_ sound messed up,” she laughed a bit nervously.

Jason’s throat was dry when she looked at him expectantly. “You get what I mean?” she asked softly, almost confidentially. And Jason knew it was something she would probably never admit unless in a life-or-death situation. He was – a bit touched; honoured even, to think that she was telling him something that could be… _was_ sacred. He just gave a non-committal shrug; which could have been anything. Yes, no, maybe… But she seemed okay with that.

“And… And I was jealous of you because you were – you _are_ one of the best Robins that Batman ever had, and I could never hope to get to your level,” she said in a rush. Jason opened his mouth to say something – _you don’t know what you’re talking about_ or _I don’t know what you’re talking about_ , but she cut over him. “Trust me, Hood… Todd. You’re one of the best. The whole family – they love you. They wanted you back, and they still do. And you’ve got your own reasons for not returning. Not coming back to them. But – but they _want_ you back, and that… that… if it was me, it would mean _the world_ to me,” she mumbled the last sentence, almost to herself.

“Yeah? Well it ain’t worth shit to me,” he said testily, bristling visibly. Jason was beyond irritated, and all he wanted to do now was leave the fucking place because no matter what, it all came back down to the same thing; _he had to go back._ He half-expected her to throw _her_ drink at him, call him an insensitive prick, maybe even punch him… he would take it, he’d been through a lot of shit lately anyway. It wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Just another bat to avoid and what a pity, he was just warming up to her.

To his surprise, all she did was shoot him an embarrassed grin. “See? Batman’s approval – the other bats… they mean… they mean a lot to me, okay? I admit it. But most of the time, I mess up. I mess up big time. I do a lot of shit and it all comes back to bite me in the ass,” Stephanie said, and Jason blinked. It was the first time that night he had heard her swear.

The blonde bit her lip. “Sometimes, I catch myself thinking – should I change? _Can_ I change? Can I be more like them? Can I live up to the legacy? And it all gets a bit too much. But you; you’re the Red Hood. You don’t second guess yourself, you don’t bend down for them, you don’t let them get to you but they still want you and I – I get that. I respect that. I just… I wish I was the same. But I’m not. Not really,” Batgirl finished with a heavy sigh.

Jason looked at her wordlessly as she stared down at the table, drawing patterns that he couldn’t decipher with her fingers. Keeping herself busy, not looking at him. And, damn it, everything she poured out… it brought mixed feelings rising in his chest. Pulling him into a hole he knew he couldn’t get out easily of, practically drowning him.

“…Y’know, if you’re aimin’ to get me back to the Manor by using guilt to weigh down my poor, twisted soul – it’s working,” he said drily. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was her plan all along – bats were… elaborate, in that way. Manipulative and cunning; he shouldn’t have trusted her. Yet he couldn’t help the upturn crook of his mouth when she half-grinned.

“That’s all you have to say after that heart-rending confession I gave you? I’m wounded,” she said, clutching a hand to her chest and gasping dramatically. Then the grin faded and she stared unnervingly at him. “But I’m serious though. They want you back – like, a lot. I mean, they sent _me_ after you. And I’ve been in their bad books lately, so you can tell that they’re hitting the point of desperation,” the blonde said.

“Well, I’m not dyin’ to see any of them. Least of all B,” Jason muttered, folding his arms. He could have cracked a joke about dying again like he normally did – a coping mechanism, he told himself; except not really – but he didn’t. He was feeling tense and nervous and his stomach and gut was twisting, telling him that he should make a run for it, this whole thing was a bad idea to lure him back…

“All they wanna do is talk to you. At least, that’s one of the few details that Red Robin deigned to tell me over the phone,” Stephanie said with a roll of her eyes, “who knows what else he kept from me. But that’s normal – he’s a bit of a paranoiac. Wouldn’t know trust if it came and hit him in the face – if it could. I still think he’d be able to block it, what with all that training he does,” Stephanie said, almost grudgingly. Yeah, she was totally growing on Jason.

“…So they’re only gonna talk to me,” Jason said slowly and clearly, filled with disbelief.

“I’d really like to say that I’m a hundred percent sure, but I can’t. Batman, you know? But hey, if you need help bailing out – I’ll be there. Not much, but at least you have someone, right? I’ll help you out if you need it – Dead Robins Society and all that,” she said reassuringly.

“Dead Robins Society?” Jason repeated skeptically, feeling laughter bubbling up in his chest. It was foreign. He didn’t laugh so much nowadays. He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss it.

“Yup! Members have no choice but to help each other out even in the dumbest situations. That’s the only rule… so far. Are you in? You, uh… you trust me, right? I’m not that bad,” Batgirl asked, and he could make out the faint uncertainness in her voice.

Jason didn’t know if Stephanie was asking him to join her makeshift club, or was he agreeing to seeing Bruce and the others, or if she was just asking if he trusted her. She trusted him, she mentioned it earlier. It had sent warmth down his spine and he felt safe. Secure. Trusted. It meant a lot – though he might not admit that ever.

And, Jason felt that must be going crazy again because he could hear himself say, “Nope, you’re not that bad. You can count me in,”

He couldn’t find himself regretting the decision as she beamed at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we have it. Next chapter; Jason's going to have to brace himself and meet the hurricane head on. I mean, no one likes to talk to a worried-out-of-his-mind and almost-angry Batman. Stay tuned. Any feedback/criticism/comments/kudos is very much appreciated. It keeps me going. I live for it. Until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. Voices through the com unit and thoughts in their head were supposed to be in italic, but I have no clue how to do that here. If anyone can tell me, I'd really appreciate that. Feedback is much honoured. Until next time, then!


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